I’m normally very sure footed. If there’s a waterfall somewhere upstream I’m the first to be leaping from rock to rock with delicious anticipation. But today was different. I was meant to be heading up the group, but my feet kept slipping into the crevices between mossy rocks. I kept being fooled by dead ends.
I stopped and wiped my brow. I figured nature was trying to say something and I’d been ignoring her for some 200 yards. And probably most of the morning actually. I looked ahead. It was only getting steeper. Finally I sat down.As I became more still, I reflected on my morning, and asked myself the question: 'Where in my life am I stumbling, slipping, and wasting my energy with bad choices? Where else in my life am I feeling the pressure of needing to ‘lead’ from the front?' I listened and realizations flowed. Firstly, I was tired. I hadn’t slept well the night before. But beneath that was another level of tired. The pressure of solo-preneur life was getting to me: doing way too much myself, not delegating enough. Not trusting my own steps and yet not trusting others enough either. But deeper than that still, I was holding onto a resentment against someone. I saw how this resentment was holding me back in life, tripping me up, not allowing me to see opportunities.
Wow, all that in 45 seconds. Thank you rocks. Because at that moment I looked up and almost laughed out loud at the serendipity of the scene in front of me. Heading up the group now, almost 50 yards up stream was 70 year old Barbara, and 23 year old Laura – the oldest and youngest of the group – both of them springing from rock to rock like mountain goats.
Who was I to think that to lead meant I had to literally be in front? Isn’t it really about inspiring others to trust their own gifts? Who am I to try to do everything myself? And who am I to let my own silly judgments shackle my progress? I sprang to my feet, grateful for the gift I’d just unwrapped, and rejoined the group. Each step from then on felt like a dance. I was back to my goatish self. I am a Capricorn after all.
Nature’s classroom delivered a rich lesson in letting go that day. Actually Maui’s teachings came every day. The moods of the sea reflected my own moods, the quiet strength of the bamboo reminded me to remain strong in my truth, the easy glide of the turtles reminded me to chill, be cool. Stop fretting about things. When I was still enough the gifts were all around, in nature and in the beautiful group of women I was with. The heart space of deep sharing circles, the loving support, the goofy laughter, the tears of compassion.
Everything felt connected, meaningful. Nature and humanity blurred into one continuum. And it’s something I carry back with me into my life. I bring that space, that swathe of peace that permeates each moment. Thank you Maui. Thank you Peaceful Woman.
I return often, and The Peaceful Woman speaks to me through Maui, through all of nature, through my body, and through others. I see her still in the eyes of each woman I meet. She's in you as you read this.
It's great to reconnect.
Blessings and Aloha, Rachel Flower
Come join me in Maui in October. The Women’s Information Network has secured three weeks for members from Oct. CEO Paula Fellingham has negotiated a great price especially for WIN members. See you there!!! http://thewinonline.com/win-mauiAnd the peaceful woman website direct: www.thepeacefulwoman.com
